Wednesday, 28 October 2015

The Nameless Ones

I don't necessarily agree that women in Bond films are pieces of meat for 007 to chew up and spit out; I think they're a lot more interesting than that.  However, it's difficult to disagree that the sheer number of anonymous Bond shags is a little problematic.  These girls might have actual names, but as film viewers, we don't hear them, and often James himself would have only found out what they were called if he'd gone on IMDB.

Dr No - Miss Taro (Zena Marshall)

If Bond ever finds out her first name, we never hear about it.

From Russia With Love - Zora and Vida (Martine Beswick and Aliza Gur)

The fighting gypsy girls' names are unimportant.  What is important is that they look a bit saucy as they roll around on the ground together.

Thunderball - Mme La Porte (Mitsouko)

Mme. La Porte begins the grand tradition of pre-title sequence girls whose purpose is to provide a bit of sex appeal without any personal details like their name getting in the way.

You Only Live Twice - Kissy (Mie Hama)

Kissy is, allegedly, the main Bond Girl - she's certainly the only one still alive at the end - but Tiger and Bond refer to her as "a Japanese" and "an Ama Girl" before her appearance, and then nothing at all once she turns up.  Even her listing in the credits doesn't give her the surname, Suzuki, she has in the novel.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - the allergy girls

The first real appearance of a bevy of mostly anonymous saucepots in a Bond film.  The adorable Ruby Bartlett, of course, is named, and if you listen closely you can hear Irma Bunt call Julie Ege's Scandinavian girl "Helen", but the rest are anonymous and are credited only by their nationality.  Poor Catherine von Schell's character gets plenty of dialogue and a love scene with Bond, but we only find out her name is Nancy at the end.

Note: some of the girls, though credited by their nationalities in the credits, got names in the script.  They are Sue-Ann, the English Girl (Joanna Lumley); Sylvanno, the Jamaican Girl (Sylvanna Henriques) and Denise, the Israeli Girl (Helena Ronee).

The Man With The Golden Gun - Andrea Anders (Maud Adams) and Goodnight (Britt Ekland)

There's a weird formality around the girls in Roger Moore's second film.  Maud Adams' character is referred to as "Miss Anders" throughout, even after she's died, and it's only in the end credits we find out she was called Andrea.  Goodnight, meanwhile, is simply called by her surname, even when in a tryst with 007, and her first name from the novel - Mary - isn't even in the credits.  Perhaps she just has the one name, like Cher.

The Spy Who Loved Me - Log Cabin Girl (Sue Vanner) and Feliccia (Olga Bisera)

The Spy Who Loved Me begins a new tradition: the pre credit minx who doesn't even get a character name in the credits.  Poor Log Cabin Girl.  Olga Bisera, meanwhile, gets an ostentatious credit in the titles ("Olga Bisera as Feliccia") and then no-one actually calls her Feliccia onscreen.

Moonraker - Hostess, Private Jet (Leila Shanna) 

Another pre-credits saucepot without a real name.

Octopussy - Bianca (Tina Hudson)

Bond may give her a peck on the cheek and promise to see her in Miami, but he can't be bothered saying her actual name.

A View To A Kill - Kimberley Jones (Mary Stavin)

Unnamed pre-credits Bond Girl, #5583.

The Living Daylights - Linda (Kell Tyler)

Margo, the girl Linda is talking to on the phone, has her name said in dialogue.  Linda does not.

Licence to Kill - Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto)

Lupe's extravagant surname is never mentioned onscreen, and only appears in the end credits.  This is a crime.

GoldenEye - Caroline (Serena Gordon)

As part of his new take on 007, Pierce Brosnan took the traditional pre-credits shagpiece and moved her to after the credits.  Revolutionary!  He doesn't call Caroline by her name, but he does call her "dear", which is a 1000x worse.

Tomorrow Never Dies - Professor Inga Bergstrom (Cecile Thomsen)

Possibly the first Bond Girl with a PhD, Inga displays a bit of buttock but not an actual name.

The World Is Not Enough - Dr Molly Warmflash (Serena Scott-Thomas)

Another one to file under "close, but not close enough"; Bond calls her Molly, and M refers to her as "the good Doctor", but no-one actually says Warmflash.  For shame.

Casino Royale - Solange (Caterina Murino)

We were told that Daniel Craig's Bond would have deeper, more respectful relationships with women, but he can't be bothered calling Solange by her actual given name.  It doesn't appear until the credits.

Quantum of Solace - Strawberry Fields (Gemma Arterton)

Fields absolutely refuses to say her first name onscreen.  It's only after she's dead and the film is over we find out her parents were big fans of Liverpool orphanages.

Skyfall - Eve Moneypenny (Naomie Harris)

Ok, we are told what her name is, but not until the very last scene.  Which begs the question: what was 007 calling her up until then?  Did she have a number?  Was he just calling her "Woman"?  Given that they've worked together in quite fraught circumstances and - possibly - even had sex, this is pretty dodgy behaviour from Bond.  Perhaps he assumed she'd be dead within a few minutes so it wasn't worth the effort of learning her name.  There is a precedent, after all.

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