1. GUNBARREL! All is forgiven.
2. Although the lack of the bouncing circle opening up on the action is a shame.
3. And the moody quote doesn’t help.
4. That’s not Bond in the white suit, is it?
5. Ah no. There he is.
6. I’ve heard all this fuss about the five minute tracking shot, but I could see the join when the camera zoomed in on the poster.
7. And again when that bloke walked past.
8. Wouldn’t walk on that ledge for a gold watch.
9. That stadium dialogue was a bit clunky.
10. These people are still having a parade even though a building just exploded?!
11. Christ, that’s a lot of people in that square. I’d have a panic attack.
12. Bad greenscreening. Forgivable but bad.
13. Can all helicopters do loop the loops now? I thought the Tiger in GoldenEye was special just because it could.
14. The pre-titles should have ended with him landing that helicopter on the roof of the hotel and shagging the Mexican girl.
15. Ok, Danny Kleinman has finally lost his fucking mind.
16. Silva! Le Chiffre! Vesper! #justiceforDominicGreene
17. Are these titles going to spell out the whole film?
18. What’s going on with Ralph Fiennes’ lower jaw?
19. Are all of Bond’s effects from Skyfall in that box? All of them? What about the AB rifle? Didn’t that survive?
20. Bond’s apartment looks quite good actually. Nice furniture.
21. When did M film this? And could she not have been a bit more specific?
22. Does everyone have to get to Q branch by boat now?
23. I bet the Tate were well chuffed when they built that skyscraper right outside.
24. Smart blood?
25. Proper gadgets though.
26. Q is just Pingu now.
27. Poor 009.
28. Why doesn’t Bond just slap Lucia in the face and say, “get over it love”?
29. Monica Bellucci looks gorgeous though.
30. Nice house. This is the one Sony tried to get them to film in London, wasn’t it?
31. Behind you!
32. Seriously, was we meant to notice that bloke?
33. Oh. They’re here to kill her. Fair enough.
34. He’s assuming she hated her husband, but did she actually say that?
35. This is ever so slightly dodgy, sex wise.
36. Saucy undies.
37. Wait, is that it for Monica Bellucci? Is she at least going to get horribly murdered?
38. Mickey Mouse. LOL.
39. Lilith from Frasier is talking about sex slaves. Ok.
40. Is this the record holder for subtitles in the series?
41. Yikes, that eyeball stuff was nasty.
42. Car chase!
43. Comedy car chase!
44. Moneypenny, you hot slut.
45. Love the little Fiat getting pushed around.
46. Ejector seat. Fantastic. Absolute Bond.
47. Moneypenny found Mr White pretty easily, which begs the question: why has no-one done it before?
48. John Glen screeching birds!
49. No, don’t make Mr White go upstairs. I want to see what he was watching on telly.
50. Jesus, look at the dust on that chess board.
51. Bond giving his gun to show trust: very Columbo.
52. Just ask him what happened to Quantum. Did it get taken over? Was there a coup?
53. Christ, I don’t think I needed to see White shoot himself in the chin.
54. Though having said that, shouldn’t there be more gore?
55. Ewww, ravens eating his face.
56. Very sexy design for the Klinik. Though wouldn’t helicopters be easier for access than planes?
57. Is she a psychiatrist? What is this Klinik for? Is it for rich weirdos?
58. Q’s got over his fear of flying then.
59. Nice jumper.
60. More gags. Seriously, this is the funniest Craig’s ever been.
61. Did everyone touch that ring at some point?
62. Love Madeline fighting back and turning the tables on her kidnapper.
63. Why are they all so scared? Surely a Land Rover would win in a fight with a plane?
64. Is that really how Q’s going to get away? Going through a fire escape?
65. Good explosions though.
66. Liked the plane bursting through the wood building.
67. Really, love, is this the time to get all snotty with Bond? Just run if you’re not keen.
68. You could have left the chain on, Q.
69. Did they really think L’Americain was a person?
70. I liked the apology, then the cut to the room being torn apart.
71. Is that BELVEDERE vodka hidden behind the wall?
72. Don’t shoot the mouse!
73. He’s drinking beer now. HEINEKEN beer.
74. When did she change into that saucy nightie?
75. Not really sure what’s going on here. They’ve traced a particular satellite phone? Was Mr White coming here every year on the off chance? Couldn’t he do all this in Austria?
76. Rules! That’s a Fleming reference, isn’t it?
77. Amazing how many sleeper trains are still running in the movies.
78. Nice woodwork.
79. I like that she’s just a girl, not someone who’s experienced at using guns.
80. Shit. So much for that.
81. Is this train from the 1930s?
82. What happened to everyone else in the dining car? Did they just run?
83. Moroccan Railways are really laissez faire about people demolishing their trains.
84. Good fight though.
85. Those barrels are like Jaws!
86. Urgh. That swear word was totally unnecessary.
87. Raunch!
88. …and then the train carries on as if nothing happened, and they just let Bond get off at the next stop.
89. What are they waiting for?
90. Was this their plan? To just hope they got an invite?
91. Mind you, it’s very Fleming. Very Dr No.
92. Love the design of this headquarters.
93. Those are beautifully decorated bedrooms.
94. Did they give Bond a suit, or are they only interested in dressing Madeline up?
95. I’d have thought a meteorite that big would have made a much larger crater.
96. All those men in black turning in their seats at the same time. Bit camp.
97. White cat!
98. Lots of white in fact.
99. Ewww.
100. No, really, ewww.
101. This is Colonel Sun, yes? Only a bit more hi-tech.
102. Oh, he’s Blofeld. Shame. I was hoping that was just a rumour. So we really are starting all over again.
103. Never let the girl kiss the man in the torture chair. Foolish mistake.
104. Yes, but what happened to the cat?
105. Bond’s sharpshooting skills are almost supernatural now.
106. Nice explosion. Always good to see a proper super-bang.
107. Oh, it’s London, is it? Thanks for the caption. The Houses of Parliament didn’t give it away.
108. Hildebrand!
109. Are they just going to kill C?
110. That’s the tunnel under the Barbican!
111. Did they just shoot Q? I hope not.
112. They missed out Dominic Greene again.
113. In fact this is all laying it on a bit thick. Was Blofeld really behind everything that happened in the last three films?
114. Three minutes to run to the top of the building?
115. The whole surveillance plot… so hard to get excited by it. It seemed ludicrous that all those governments would sign over their secret services, and what have they got? A load of CCTV cameras?
116. Thanks for letting us know that C is dead, Tanner. Wouldn’t have guessed after that massive drop.
117. I wish they’d escaped Vauxhall Cross in the Q boat.
118. This is a bit of a let down actually. A bit clunky.
119. Should have ended the film in Morocco.
120. Of course he’s not going to shoot Blofeld.
121. Is that it? Walking off the bridge with Madeline?
122. Oh, extra Q scene.
123. I guess we’re meant to be happy about Bond going off with Madeline to happiness, but… she’s not that great.
124. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MONICA BELLUCCI?
125. JAMES BOND WILL RETURN!!!
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